Monday, March 24, 2014

We Made It

It was a bit of a rough night for these two (and my parents) and a bit painful in the morning for me, but we all made it through and I think we are the better for it.


I enjoyed my time out and sleeping through the night, and I honestly didn't think about Mia all that much. I did wonder how things were going at Mum's but didn't dwell on it. If I did, I would have upset myself by calling home to find things really weren't going well, just as I suspected. Best not to think about it... best just to enjoy a couple of wines with dinner at Deca Bodega...


I woke up early and quietly scrolled through Facebook on my phone so as not to wake the bride. I was rewarded with a hashtag rich account of Ian's night. For your enjoyment he has given me permission to include it here...

Margret normally co-sleeps with the kids... And I sleep in a seperate bed so I can get some sleep #sadiknow... But tonight she is spending the night with the lovely Charlotte before her big day tomorrow (well today now)... So for the first time I get to co-sleep with the kids #challengeaccepted... Charlie has been fine #whatalittlechampion... Mia on the other hand #devilincarnate took more than an hour of crying to go to sleep #OMG... And has woken up every1/2 to 1 hour for a good 5-15 minute cry. The only way i can get her to settle is put my arm under her head #outlikealight . Fine but i cant sleep with her on my arm... Wait for her to fall asleep #sucker. Then try extract my arm roll over and try go to sleep, all without waking her up #doesntallwayswork....

#challengenumber2 i normally use a CPAP machine when i sleep so i dont snore and have a better nights sleep. This entails wearing a mask over nose with an air hose attached. The first time she woke up after i put it on #shefreakedthefuckoutdotcomdotau #whoareyouandwhatthefukdidyoudowithmydad. So off it came in a hurry. #shegotoveriteventually #sheeventuallywentbacktosleeponmyarm... Until.. #dadstartedsnoring #whatthefukisthatnoise? Arm under the head. Sleep. Extract the arm. Nope wake up start again. Finally i roll over #onmysidesoidontsnore and get some sleep #bliss #nopeisnoreonmysidetooawesome.

So here we are 4:42am and i have managed maybe 2 hours sleep #ineedsleep #OMGMia #dontknowhowyoudoitMargret #boobswouldhelp #hopeyouenjoyedmylongassstory #hopeyoumanagedachuckleatmyexpense #toomanyhashtags?


He felt better after getting all of that off his chest. My mum is proud of him for not getting angry or losing his cool all night. I'm proud of him for sticking with it and not handing her over to my Mum to deal with.

So that's how our weekend went. We didn't end up going to Sculpture By The Sea, next year I'm going to plan a specific trip just to see it.

Mx

Friday, March 21, 2014

A Night Off


I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Tonight is scheduled to be the first night that I sleep by myself away from my babies since Charlie was born three and half years ago. I'm looking forward to having a full night sleep without being woken 4 to 5 times to nurse but apprehensive about what that means for Mia, my boobs and my Mum (or Ian) who is babysitting.

The reason is my best friend is getting married tomorrow and I am spending the night at her hotel with her. I would take Mia with me, but who wants to be the cause of eye bags on a bride on her big day?!

I worry about the amount of sleep that will be had at Mum's house, but a full night of sleep for me and getting to spend the time with my bestie on her last night as a single woman are a pretty tempting proposition and not to be overlooked in their importance.

Now I just need to steel my resolve. I can do this. Mia can do this. We will both be ok.

I hope you have as wonderful a weekend as I have planned  coming up. I think we should to go to Sculptures by the Sea on Sunday before we head home.

Mx

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Mia's quilt

I actually finished this quilt between Christmas and New Years (I think) but yay! It's finished!

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This quilt was started way back in 2010 while pregnant with Charlie who I thought was a girl. I bought the fabrics as a fat quarter bundle from Calico & Ivy, I couldn't resist their flannely softness.

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It is still too hot here to use it yet, hopefully it will get some love in the coming months. I'm a little over this summer and am ready to stop sweating in the afternoons while I prepare dinner.

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I have fabric bundles for two more baby quilts in the wings, and I still haven't sewn Charlie a quilt yet either (though I have cut the fabric and started sewing HST's).

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IMG_9653
IMG_9643

I hope you all are getting more crafting time than I am!

Mx

Monday, January 20, 2014

A Birth Story

[Mia's first week]

Charlie came early and Mia kept us waiting. 

Mia was due on 7th of January and since Charlie had arrived 9 days early I expected Mia would make her appearance somewhere between Christmas and New Year. I was hoping like heck it wouldn't be Christmas Day, I wasn't thrilled about the prospect of a New Years Eve baby either but would have gladly taken that over Christmas.

Christmas came and went, phew... New Years came and went... Ian's cousin's wedding I didn't know if I'd make came and went... Our due date came and went... an extra week came and went... 

By this stage I was three weeks past my expectation of when number two would arrive and Ian had long since gone back to work. Work being back home 3 hours away while I twiddled my thumbs waiting at my parent's house. Luckily the third trimester is my favourite and I wasn't too concerned, except that the home birth program won't birth you at home past 42 weeks. I had been booked in for an appointment at the hospital to give me a check up and determine if they were still happy for me to birth at home, even though I still had a week before hitting 42 weeks. I had made it this far without requiring an ultrasound for either of my pregnancies and I was not looking forward to them demanding one to keep me on the program. But if that's what it was going to take I would have taken that option over a hospital birth.

I woke on Tuesday morning around 2.30am to pee and felt a couple of twinges but nothing more and went back to sleep. I awoke in the morning and nothing. I should back up here and tell you that Ian had come to see us for the weekend, keen to get things happening we (how to put it politely?)…  had "relations" on Friday night,  and Saturday morning I had a bloody show. We went out shopping for a good part of the day, all that walking... nothing... Saturday afternoon, lost my mucous plug... still nothing... Saturday night... Sunday morning... Out for breakfast with friends... Sunday afternoon... still nothing... by this stage I was getting a little discouraged at the lack of action, Charlie was born within hours of these signs and Ian would have to go back to work Monday morning, I really didn't want him to go again, but there I was very early Monday morning kissing him goodbye.

So after all this I woke on Tuesday morning not feeling anything and I wasn't going to get my hopes up. I had a 9.15 appointment at the Mac Store for my laptop that I wasn't going to miss, so off Charlie and I went. It's quite funny going out in public after your due date, people ask when you're due, when you tell them last week, they freak out expecting your waters to break right there and then, gushing all over their floor. Anyway, I didn't feel like going back to Mum and Dad's with nothing to do because you prudently don't make plans for those weeks after your due date. I rung my girlfriend who's day off (thank goodness) is Tuesdays and we hung out at her place with her two boys all day. I started having what I thought were random painful Braxton Hick's throughout the afternoon, but I still wasn't getting my hopes up. We went across the road to the park, we fed the kids dinner and we bathed them before I piled Charlie in the car at six o'clock and headed home. 

I timed the contractions on the drive home and they were 8 mins apart, I was getting a little hopeful at this stage but not yet excited. I called Ian at 6.30pm when I got to my parent's house and said I'm not convinced this is labour so I'll call you in half an hour and if they're still regular come down. Smart man was on his way when I called back. Charlie had fallen asleep in the car and was an easy transfer to bed. My sister and her wife were flying out the next morning for work and Claudie my sister in law had hoped not to be there for the labour. I sat in their room with them for a while before the contractions were too strong to chat. Then the pacing and the waiting for Ian began. Dad blew up the birthing pool and filled it. 

Ian arrived not long after 10pm and I called the midwife. I did not catch her on a good night, and I could tell she was not thrilled with my call. This is unfortunate because it took the sparkle off our birth experience. She apologised when she saw me next and I'm glad she did because I knew she hadn't been as great as our first midwives at Charlie's birth and I was quite pissed off to be honest. Anyway, she arrived an hour later at 11.15pm got herself organised and rang the second midwife. I hopped in to the pool. My Dad was still about, some water had leaked under the sink from filling up the pool. Ideally, we wanted as least people present as possible, but that is difficult when you're at someone else's house.

Because there was stuff going on and people about, I did not get to go in to that inner space the 'cone of silence' and I found my labour a bit more painful than the first time. This might also have been contributed to by the fact that my first labour was so much easier and less painful and quicker than I was expecting so I had high expectations that this second labour was going to be quicker again and even easier/less painful. There was a point when I wondered how long I was going to be in labour since everything was seeming the opposite to my first labour and I thought I couldn't do this if it was going to be hours and hours.

The second midwife arrived, and I was so not "in the cone of silence" that I called out a hello to her as she walked in the front door. And ten minutes later at 11.45pm Mia was born. They have my second stage of labour down at seven minutes, not long, I didn't have to worry about things dragging on for hours. Mia's head did not cone, but came out at 35cm perfectly round. I didn't have any trouble getting her head out, but our little miss was barrel chested and stayed put for a couple of contractions, at this point they told me to push. I tried, I had nothing, I wondered why they couldn't just grab a hold of her head and pull her out. Ian tried to touch her while she was under the water like that but was told not to. At Charlie's birth he was encouraged to touch and being the first person to touch/catch/hold Charlie is one of his proudest moments. I'm sorry for him that he didn't get that the second time round. In our midwive's defence, she was concerned that if you stimulate a baby before they surface it might try to breath under the water. I do not agree, and it would have been good to know beforehand for the sake of expectations.

Mia had an extremely short umbilical cord and so when the midwife tried to lift her out of the water behind me, there wasn't enough length and she quickly shoved her back under me and through to the front, so Ian was really cut out of that equation too. I held her in the water and thought she was short and chubby, but she was long and chubby! She was 56cm long and 4.51kg! Only one ounce off 10 pound!! I'm pretty proud of that :)

While we waited for the placenta to come out Charlie woke up and Ian bought him down to meet his new sister. Of course it was the middle of the night and he had just woken up, I don't think he knew what to make of it all with his dad suddenly there and me in the pool holding a new baby. We moved to the couch and they gave me a stitch. Neither of the midwives normally do stitches but I told them to have a go, I didn't want someone else to have to come the next day and give me a needle and then stitch me.

Without losing blood like I did with Charlie I felt pretty good immediately, if a little tired. This time I even had a shower and could walk myself to bed. Though I didn't have the high I did after I gave birth to Charlie, but I think that was partly my expectation that things would be quicker and easier second time around and them not being, and our midwife who was going through some personal issues. 

My Sister and Claudie did not get much sleep before waking up and 5am or so to catch their flight, but it was nice for them to meet Mia before they left for two weeks. My Dad's generosity loading up the midwives with bottles of wine and being so excited he had to call one of his brothers in the middle of the night was pretty sweet too.

[Mia this last week]

At the end of the day we got a beautiful healthy baby and that's what really matters. We fell in love with her pretty quickly and I'm so glad I didn't stop at one. This past year has been easier than I expected having two precious babies. I don't know if that's because of Mia's temperament or because I'm not a first time mum fumbling in the dark. Who knows! What I do know is that we are lucky to have her, sweet, sweet girl.

Mx

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Mia

Our baby girl turned one yesterday. We love her so.



I will endeavour to post her birth story soon. I still have a few thank you's for her birth gifts to do. A year, and I still haven't finished!! Why is it so hard for me to be timely with thank you's?!

Mia is a sweet girl and we are blessed to have her, I would say more but I can hear her stop starting crying on the monitor, maybe she'll go back to sleep...

Mx

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year

[Ian's last day of the year lunch]

What a fantastic year we've had :) much to be happy about. I'm just typing this quickly before we head out to an early evening party, we will be home before midnight I'm sure.

A few highlights

<> Mia! Our sweet baby girl was born early in 2014 in mid January
<> Buying the old bowling club in town
<> Ian smashing on with the renovation
<> My first dishwasher
<> Getting a robovac (iRobot Roomba)

Mx

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Merry Walking Christmas


We have a walker! Mia took three steps on her own today at Christmas lunch. Three weeks before her birthday. It was this time last year that I was waiting in Perth for her imminent arrival. She didn't arrive until the closing hour of the 15th of Jan but that is another story. Her birth story, which I have actually been writing and will post here around her birthday.

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas day with family or friends. Here's to a great last week for 2013!

Mx

Thursday, December 12, 2013

November

2013 November Mosaic

November was spent firmly at home after all our time in Perth in October, but we had...

:: a lovely visit from Nanna Cherie from SA
:: a screwed finger
:: a fire next door
:: weather that was Hot Hot Hot then Not Not Not
:: a record breaking harvest around here :D
:: all the gyprock boards up!
:: our 5 year wedding anniversary celebrated with dinner at the roadhouse cafe. Not the most romantic setting but having dinner with just the two of us felt pretty special.

Not long till Christmas now, I hope you're more ready for it than I am.

Mx

Friday, November 22, 2013

Bowling Club Update

Milestone day with the renovation. Gyprock boards are up! Now just all that flushing and finishing to go :)

Ian has been doing a massive job working nights and weekends. We had our first (and hopefully last) trip to the emergency department. Ian had a lapse with think safe sam and put a screw in to the end of his finger. That was a couple of weekends ago and thankfully it is healing nicely.


We've gone from this...


to this...

 We won't be in by Christmas so we're aiming for the next big Christian holiday... Easter :)

Mx

Friday, November 15, 2013

October

2013 October Mosaic

:: 31 days of model behaviour
:: a lot of time in Perth
:: Leon and Phoung's wedding
:: My 20 year high school reunion!!
:: Julie's funeral
:: wedding prep with C
:: nits and school sores
:: my birthday
:: robovac :)

October was quite a full on month with many reasons to be in Perth. We are firmly planted at home for a while now. Pool weather has started, swimming lessons begin today. I have another home appliance to love, I bought myself a Roomba for my birthday and it makes me so happy! It's mid November and Mia is 10 months old, time is going so quickly! The year is speeding by, we will not be in the new house for Christmas, we're picking the next Christian holiday and aiming for Easter :) I will post an update soon.

Mx

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

September


:: feeling the squeeze with building expenses and bills
:: first fix electrical - windows - air conditioning
:: gyprock!
:: Charlie turned 3!!

Mx

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Day 31: Conclusions



Conclusions...

I was already formulating this post in my head. I thought my month long effort to stop hitting and yelling worked. Then today! Not terrible, but I found myself swipping Charlie with my foot (you might as well say kicking, but that makes me feel too awful).

I'm still going to call it a success. Despite today, I have been reacting less and being angry less. Which is nice, I hate being angry! A friend rang me at 10 o'clock last night and I answered it because I knew it must have been important to be ringing that late. She had had a tough day with her 3 year old son too and felt bad about the things she had said (verbal reactions rather than my physical ones). I knew exactly how she was feeling and it was then that I realized that I had had some success this month because I was no longer feeling that way myself.

I haven't had any major light bulb moments or anything, but I am glad to not be feeling the way I was at the start of this month. I'm looking forward to getting a bit more housework done in the evenings too now that I won't be posting every day. And I think it's not only that I'm reacting less, Charlie is giving me less to react to too. He is responding positively to my efforts. He's actually a really sweet kid, and I'm a lucky Mum.

Mx

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Day 30: CTFD Method of parenting


[Charlie pre and post swim]

:: WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE THE BEST PARENT IN THE WORLD, AS LONG AS YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD, THEY’LL THINK YOU ARE AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS - david vienna (the daddy complex)

After a month of reflecting on my parenting and trying to keep my shit together, you might think that I obsess a little too much. I like to think I'm being conscientious. Which was by the way the most consistently overused word in my primary school reports. I'm not worried that I'm a terrible parent or anything, I'm just trying to do my best but also do better. I don't think I worry too much, but I will try and remember this parenting technique with a smile next time I start to worry about some little thing Calm the F*** Down. 

Today: So hot! We spent a few hours keeping cool at the pool. All that splashing and playing wears little boys out. No parenting dramas though Charlie still did not want to have the conditioner washed out of his hair. I talked to him before we did the treatment about why he wasn't wanting a bath any more. It hurt his eyes. I promised him I wouldn't let any get in his eyes. He still screamed and fought the whole time but we didn't get any in his eyes, and I stayed calm. Win.

Mx

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Day 29: Routine


:: CHILDREN THRIVE ON ROUTINE

So they say. I don't know if they do, I haven't really researched this topic, but I think having some daily flow, and marker points through the day help.

When Charlie was first born, I had read quite a few books but I was totally clueless. I thought that if Charlie was tired he would go to sleep, ha! I remember being at a family reunion when Charlie was only a few weeks old, I was holding him and didn't know why he was crying. He was fed, dry, etc. My Mum told me he was tired, I didn't believe her. If he was, why didn't he just go to sleep?! She took him for me, cradled him in her arms and threw a blanket over her shoulder to shield him from the light and noise. And what do you know, just like that, he fell asleep.

I wish I had been more switched on to the whole sleep thing. I was so silly, I didn't understand the real gift of a sleeping baby... or maybe I did. I held Charlie for nearly all of his naps out of my desire to attachment parent. I didn't get anything done! I felt bad if I wanted him to have a sleep, like I was wishing him away or something. Now I know better. We didn't even put him to bed! Babies (and children) need their sleep, and sometimes they need help getting there.

All of this is a long way of saying that since Mia was born, we've been having an evening 'flow' dinner...bath...books...bed. We don't really do the books for Mia, it's more for Charlie but we put them to bed together. Anyhow, Mia goes to sleep at night much easier than I remember Charlie going down. I hope that bodes well for her as she's getting older, maybe she just hasn't gotten to that age when Charlie would just much around for ages. I hope not!

Tonight: bathing disaster! I combed conditioner through Charlie's hair as part of his nit treatment. Again he did NOT want to get in the bath. I wrangled him and ended up in the bath with my clothes on. There was no plug in, I was just using the hose to rinse his hair out, but I did get fairly wet. I yelled at him to sit down, I got a bit angry and could have been more gentle. I don't know how I should have handled it differently, though if I think about it, not yelling and keeping my calm would have been a good start. Anyway, it's done now, I didn't have the time or head space in the moment.

Mx

Monday, October 28, 2013

Day 28: Long View



:: WHAT REWARDS AND PUNISHMENTS DO PRODUCE IS TEMPORARY COMPLIANCE. THEY BUY US OBEDIENCE. -alfie kohn Punished by Rewards

"... if we are ultimately concerned with the kind of people our children will become, there are no shortcuts. Good values have to be grown from the inside out. Praise and privileges and punishments can change behavior (for a while), but the cannot change the person who engages in the the behavior - at least not in the way we want. No behavioral manipulation ever helped a child develop a commitment to becoming a caring and responsible person. No reward for doing something we approve of ever gave a child a reason for continuing to act that way when there was no longer any reward to be gained for doing so." p.161

Expanding on day 19's pearl. If you think I'm running out of pearls, I am! My Mum accused me of cheating for combining Saturday and Sunday, and she's right... Anyway, as parents we want to be thinking about the kind of people we'd like our children to turn into. We need to take the long view and work towards that rather than producing temporary results

Today: I was so tempted to demand obedience, in fact I did try demanding it, it didn't work... A spot of parenting bother at bath time tonight. With Ian putting in evenings at the bowling club (as well as weekends) I've been doing a bit of solo parenting lately and bathing both the kids in the big bath instead of Ian bathing Charlie in the laundry tub and myself bathing Mia in the baby bucket. Charlie did not want to get in the bath tonight. He didn't want to get in the bath last night either but we let him skip it as he was clean from an afternoon bath to wash the nit treatment out of his hair. I wasn't about to let him off tonight, I'd put  Pinetarsol Oil that I bought this afternoon in the water to help with what we think are 'school sores'. Little man is a walking HazMat at the moment.

Anyway, I started to lose my cool. I think tonight it was more of a patience issue, it's not that I was getting angry, I was just losing my patience. Looks the same though, I start raising my voice, demanding obedience... I managed to reign it in but had to physically force Charlie to sit down in the bath multiple times and hold him firmly while I washed him. Not fun. I think he's still so very tired. While that doesn't sound very respectful, here is a story from another mother that needed to 'physically' help her daughter in to her car seat.

Mx

Since I hate to post without photos, there is Charlie and Mia at a family reunion earlier this month.



Days 26 & 27: Humour


:: A PERSON WITHOUT A SENSE OF HUMOR IS LIKE A WAGON WITHOUT SPRINGS. IT'S JOLTED BY EVERY PEBBLE ON THE ROAD - henry ward beecher
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrywardb161732.html#ZiobOu342iCjSYUI.99
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrywardb161732.html#ZiobOu342iCjSYUI.99

Keeping your sense of humour goes a long way to keeping your buttons covered and not so easily pushed. Sometimes you just have to laugh. My Mum always said "if you don't laugh you'll cry".

The Weekend: No parenting dramas*. We went out to friends' place on Saturday for bbq and poker night, Charlie was wrecked before we even left and I thought I should probably stay home with him. He fell asleep on the way out to our friend's farmhouse and so we parked next to the patio and left him sleeping. He woke just before 8 and wouldn't let us unbuckle him or go back to sleep. Charlie so desperately wanted to get home and go to bed that Ian took pity on him and we left early. That is saying a lot as Ian loves his poker, but he said he's never seen him like that. I was having a good time too and didn't want to leave, but it was nice to see Ian put Charlie first like that. Our first night back to our usual evening routine at home tonight, hopefully a few days of early nights and our home environment should give Charlie back some resilience.

*Not a parenting drama but a drama nonetheless, on Sunday afternoon I found our first case of nits! Our friends down the street had Moov on hand luckily so we popped over and treated Charlie. He has a sore on the back of his head and it must have stung, he kicked up a such a stink!

Hope you had a good weekend.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Day 25: Ideal Parents


[light the night]

:: TO HELP YOUR TODDLER DEVELOP, WORK ON YOURSELF, WHICH MEANS CULTIVATING PATIENCE AND FIRMNESS AND GETTING RID OF BLAME AND GUILT WHEN YOU ARE NOT THE IDEAL PARENT. p.116 You Are Your Child's First Teacher

I'm giving myself a little "almost there" pep talk. I know myself, and when I get near the end of anything I run out of steam. So.... just reminding myself here that what I'm doing is worthwhile. I am working on myself, and it is worthwhile. We don't need to be ideal parents, the ideal parent is one who cares enough to try.

Today (Yesterday): Another(!) travel day. No dramas

Mx




Thursday, October 24, 2013

Day 24: Home

[Mia's sad face at Ikea]

:: HOME, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE IT

Does Dorothy say that in the Wizard of Oz?
Our last day in Perth before we head home tomorrow. We are very lucky to have my parent's to stay with when we need to come to the city. We have friends here that like us to stay with them too, but since we've gone from one child to two it is easier to stay with 'Grangran' and 'Branma'. It gives us built in baby sitters and Charlie gets to spend more time with his grandparents (plus I go home with some of my laundry washed!).

Anyway, there is no place like home and we are all looking forward to getting back there. I'll be able to get the kids in to bed at the normal time, I won't be dragging them out all day and Charlie can play with his little friends instead of being with adults all the time. Being away from home is hard on little ones. It helps to take this into account.

Today: Both kids still unwell. Charlie was testing first thing this morning but I didn't let my buttons get pushed, I could see he was just as exhausted as I was and not coping. Mia had a couple of meltdowns, one in the car on the way back from picking up gyprock supplies and another in the car at Ikea. I'm holding her now in bed as I type this on Dad's laptop, she's just not herself. I hope they pick up soon.

Mx

Day 23: The Years are Short


:: THE DAYS ARE LONG BUT THE YEARS ARE SHORT

I came across this quote in The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I'm thinking of it today because of the terribly sad funeral of my cousin's wife yesterday (the reason why this, yesterday's post, is happening today). Julie was taken by cancer at only 39, my cousin was widowed at 35 and their two young daughters lost their beautiful, devoted mother. It's too sad to think about really.

It's one of those things that really drives home how lucky you are if you or your immediate family are all in relatively good health. Rubin used the quote to take the larger picture in the midst of everyday drudgery. You might be "in the trenches" right now with little ones and you might drag your tired ass to bed at the end of very long days but soon you'll be looking back at these years (if you're lucky) and you want to enjoy them as much as you can. Hopefully the years aren't short because they've been cut short by death, but none of us has any guarantees.

I'm feeling extra grateful I get to kiss my babies goodnight and cuddle them to sleep. This is why Rubin embarked on her happiness project, she didn't want to wait for some tragedy in the future to make her realize how lucky and happy she was at that moment. I really loved The Happiness Project and Rubin's honest and self-deprecating insights into her own character. It does actually have really great advice too.

Today (yesterday): A long, emotionally exhausting day. A silver lining of the kids being sick is that Charlie was docile and just cuddled into my sisters lap for the funeral service so I was able to sit through it instead of chasing him around outside. No parenting dramas. Mia is showing signs of being as stubborn as Charlie was about not going to sleep though, she was exhausted at the wake but refused to sleep until nearly 9.30.

Mx

Day 22: Don't Take it Personally


  :: NOTHING OTHERS DO IS BECAUSE OF YOU miguel ruiz

Today's pearl is not a parenting pearl per se, but it is something to keep in mind when our children are having a melt down or telling us they hate us. Nothing others do is because of you so don't take it personally. Don't take anything personally is actually the second agreement from Ruiz's book The Four Agreements. I haven't read this book for a while but I love it. It really helped me to let go of things a lot easier because I didn't have to take things personally. I realized that whatever it was someone else did that might have upset me, wasn't actually about me, it was about them.

So when it comes to our children, if your child is pushing limits it could be because he is hungry, tired, frightened, unwell or any number of other reasons. Young children have immature impulse control and as noted by Janet Lansbury they "...are easily overwhelmed by impulses bigger and stronger than they are." 

Today (two days ago!): can I even remember?! Charlie and Mia still unwell, we spent the morning trying to get an appointment somewhere and ended up in Midland seeing a homeopath. In the confined space of the homeopaths office it was clear to see that while Charlie is not ADD (I hope) he certainly is a very busy boy. I had thoughts of a pinball bouncing around, and that parenting such high energy kid has perhaps required more than I've given myself credit for.  From there my mum took him and I went off running errands with Mia. No parenting dramas, Mia just didn't want to be put down which makes anything but baby holding difficult.

Mx